dreaming

i am sitting here in the photo lab sipping my diet coke, reading for my art theory class (loathing) and day dreaming.

i want to see the world. so badly that i feel physical discontent at the fact that i'm sitting down, in a dark room studying while it's so beautiful outside.

why can't the photo lab have windows?!

tonight is the opening of my show! i am very excited!
(and i'm hoping that no one will notice the imperfections...haha yikes!)

i love having dreams though, i just am tired of them only being in my head.
graduation is so soon...i hope i can find a way to make it a doorway to adventure.

here are a few pictures from our RS activity (pizza party, freezer jam demo & games at the morris' house!) and from last friday's girl's night- jason joined in!

 getting in touch with our western sides

 the girls out with sister morris' horses at our RS activity!

 sis reynolds giving us a demo

 kyla & kara watching on!

 learning how to make strawberry jam!

 love these RS ladies! 

 308's dancing queen!

 adoration. 

 best friends!

 making a mess with chocolate. jason looks like the joker from batman... 

 muddy-buddies party style

smoldering semester

i'm 94% sure that i have A.D.D...

Sigh of relief!

after two semesters of working on my senior thesis project, or better known as my BFA (big fat art*) project, it is finally hanging up! gallery style! it is incredible to see so many pieces of mine hanging in a public place, FRAMED nonetheless! it seems like the digital age has stolen that luxury (and admittedly a little bit of a headache) of framing and hanging photographs.

it's been quite the project, getting all of this together. it didn't help that i waited until there was only about two weeks till INSTALLATION! (saying that makes it sound like my project is some kind of spaceship preparing for launch)

i will tell you, shooting this project was definitely the easiest part of it all, and the most fun. i wish i was one of those really famous photographers who could just hire others to do the headache that is dealing with matts, frames, hooks and all that jazz. but i am grateful (now) that i could learn how to do all that by myself. it's really satisfying to see a hallway full of prints that i've slaved over, to see people look at them. i've already heard a lot of good compliments and kinds words about them and the show has only been up for a day!

i'm so grateful for all the people who have helped so much with this project:
1. the "subjects"- i'd rather call them friends and loved ones- who gave up their time to let me get to know them, and braved me with a gigantic 4X5 camera.
2. my teachers, for helping me print, their constructive critiques, and to Bro. C for letting me use his frames as well as helping me hang (that would have been a nightmare without all the help i got!)

3. and most definitely, to my parents for funding my education, believing in my ability to succeed as an artist, student and daughter of God. 

(i'm still in the process of putting my book together, that's what i will do upon the finish of this celebratory post.) 

it's just one of those days,

 i went to the temple this morning. usually i go on wednesdays but i just was soooo tired yesterday and decided that since my early class is cancelled this week (yes!)  that i would just go on thursday. It was a slightly longer wait than usual but i won't complain because extra time in the temple is a blessing, not a burden.

as i dragged myself out of bed this morning, i couldn't fight thoughts about how excited i was to get back into it after i got home from the temple. but while i was waiting to go into the baptistry, i decided that since tuesday's devotional was talking about how the early morning is when we can receive the revelation/invigoration that we need throughout the day and therefore we should wake up and start our day as soon as possible...i should stay awake when i got home and be "productive". i made eggs and cut my finger open while trying to cut an avocado (not alvacodo like how i used to pronounce it till an unspeakable age...) to go with my toasted tortilla and eggs. OW! but now i have a princess bandaid which is a lot better than the gross rag i used after the initial slicing. i couldn't find any bandaids right away. thanks to Ashley with the magical fairy-tale bandages! holla!

but as i was driving to school, i heard that 'you're gonna miss this' song (Darius Rucker?) and almost got emotional. weird. i think i just am sentimental about the fact that i'm significantly older than the 18 year old in that song. i can still relate to her, but it's weird to think that i was 18 almost 4 years ago, that i'm past that "i wish i was old enough...blah blah" stuff, because now i AM old enough. though, i still feel kinda young in the sense that the future still seems far away. will it always feel that way? probably...

then i started to think about how i want to be a mom that is friends with her daughters and protected/loved by her sons (three boys, two girls...ideally). but realistically, i'm sure they will find me crazy, overbearing and embarrassing. but i hope that there is a chance that i can still be a 'cool' mom. (slim chance since i'm already crazy and i'm nowhere close to being a mom).

and in honor of the (almost) one year anniversary of our spring break in Cancun last year, here are a few photos.

can you tell that i'm vacation-sick?!

can't see 

& i miss being tan!

Bay Watch status

sun in your eyes Sierra?

nick is cute and huge. still kinda weirds me out how old he is getting...

Lucky Lex looks like Mom more and more every vacation!

;)

sisters & mom, minus the sweet lil' Sierra...

i think she was taking a potty break

just missin' the dock and yummy coconut shave ice!

aren't they so cute?!

so i couldn't have any possible readers thinking that i don't love my dad, and that i am always lookin' as fly as i do in the previous photos (haha yeah right!) 

so here is a lovely gem from a night around the hotel with my dad. gotta love our sunburnt cheeks! 

(the visible ones!) 

it was just a good morning, especially because i love the sunshine! now i need to stop blogging and write  up my BFA stuff! oy!

ONE MONTH!?

Life is so good, it's great. you could even say it's "grood" (gruh-oO-d). that is a word that i have made up, in case you were wondering about it's origins.

i am just so excited about my life right now and i think i can pin-point a couple of the reasons.

first, it's sunny today.
second, i got to sleep in then continued with day 6 of my renewed scripture reading regimen (10 minutes in the morning and 10 at night, that equals 20 a day in case you're mathematically challenged like I am).
third, caved in and bought my first Horkely's DDP of the week. yummm.
fourth, i delayed getting to class on time (Bro Briggs is gone anyways so attendance doesn't matter!) and got to be present for a little chit-chat with my roommate who needed both me and Makelle, it felt good to have some prayers answered in ways that I didn't expect. that is seriously the best feeling ever. praying to be more aware of the Spirit definitely pays off...
fifth, it just feels good to know that I'm letting burdens go and training myself to be more trusting of my Heavenly Father. nothing beats that sense of just doing the right thing. ya know?
sixth, i have been working on gathering all this great life advice from people i know and respect for who they are as people, especaily my friend LeeAnn and her husband Rudy (their portraits will be in my BFA and they are lookin' so good!). They both wrote me letters over this last weekend full of great advice. i have been so uplifted and touched by both reading their "words of wisdom" as well as just knowing them. I want a life like theirs.

the list goes on and on, but i think for my seventh "grood" thing today, i've been listening to Mumford & Sons all day and it honestly just doesn't get better than that. they have been my favorite band ever since i first heard their song The Cave last winter (yeah i am usually a little late to jump on the bandwagon).

you can't beat them!

this week has been a good one, weird and smattered with a few moments of sadness and a lot of stress, but definitely happiness. i just wish i had more control over everything. that's my one wish. but wishes aren't real so who cares? right? haha.

here are a few pictures from our rocket launching FHE this week! 

 we also had bottle rockets...and i now have a burn on my thigh.

thanks to my inability to hold them properly! 

 awaiting the launch! 

 chaotic group picture!

slightly less chaotic! :)

photos!

Congratulations- Blue October & Imogen Heap

Well well, it is officially past mid-term time for my last semester in college! My mind is blown every other day, but mostly i just try to live in the moment (occasionally i find myself living in the past, but that's just how i roll.) and enjoy all the fun around me. Maybe too much fun, seeing as I am practically failing my Art Theory class! Yay! (don't worry mom, i won't FAIL, but i won't get an A either).

Last night I spent three hours out at my ceramic teacher's house with all the other students so we could throw wood into Bro. Briggs' wood kiln every 3 minutes. It was a good time! Lots of yummy meat & food, splitting wood, and smelling like smoke. I honestly love that smell! Just not the next day, but now my hair smells like coconuts not burning logs (i just checked). I am so excited to see how all our pieces that were in there turned out!

There have been some really interesting things happening lately though so I will make a little list and hope it is interesting enough that my (one or two) readers will enjoy it.

Here goes a lotta' somethin'

1. I finished The Help last night and L-O-V-E-D it! I almost cried (again) at the same part that had the tears streaming down my chubby lil' cheeks when I watched the movie over Christmas break with my sisters. I love that we all try to hide it when we cry, and i love (and am terrified by) the fact that my sisters are old enough to be emotionally touched by a story line.

2. (disclaimer: i can't remember if i mentioned this yet...) I have been called as RS President and it has been a great experience and I have seen so much growth not only in my life, but in the lives of the girls I work with & serve.

3. I've been (extremely) slowly trying to learn how to play the guitar, it's on my list of goals for this year and I'm real lucky to have a roommate and a lot of friends who are super talented players to help me. It's really hard for me! But it is something I've always wanted to do.

4. The BFA project is moving a long, that is what I will do after I finish this post. I am working on the write ups, it's hard to write about other people's lives, I just want to do them the justice they deserve. I have been growing so much as a person with this, and for that I will always be grateful. There was definitely inspiration behind this project that I will not take credit for.

AND I got the spot in the Spori building that I wanted to hang my show!! Yes!

5. Here's the best news... I GOT A SUMMER JOB AT BADGER CREEK! I am so so SO excited and I feel so good about it. That means that I will be in Tetonia Idaho from June to mid-August and will get to have all kinds of adventures with tons of new friends and get to serve the youth while I do it. Ever since I heard about Badger from some friends last winter semester, I have felt like it's a place I need to be. Up until I applied on a whim, I had been feeling really lost about where to go after graduation. thoughts of applying for Badger Creek kept popping into my mind and I would push them out thinking that it was too late, but finally one day I just called up the offices and they told me that it was still open. So i got to work filling out all the applications, calling people to ask if they would write letters of recommenation for me and BAM! It was in, the interview went way good. I felt really peaceful while I was there talking with Kyle and Bro. Ashton.

It's going to be a great experience and although graduating still freaks me out, I feel peace about this summer. I am so excited to be part of OYA and to let the hearts of others touch my life. I just hope and pray I can do the same for them.

university towing

you suck!

this last weekend i left for UT on friday, went straight to my client's house where we packed her up into the esclade (along with her mom and sister) and headed up Cottonwood Canyon for her bridal session. It was a beautiful, clear and sunny day but oh so cold in the shade! Sha'lee was a great sport though in her strapless dress standing in the snow! we had a great time, found a fire station with some great brick and some beautiful bridges. i "had to" climb down into the rocks at the bottom of the river to get some good shots of Sha'lee on the bridge...the rocks i climbed down were covered in about 3 inches of snow. YES! haha too bad i left my gloves in the car. it was great though, i'm really happy with the way her photos turned out. The next day after running around doing some BFA interviews and shoots and an 18 minute power nap i booked it out to Sha'lee and Chad's for their engagement session. We hit up Wheeler Farms. It was great! there were tons of old buildings, barns, trees, animals and bridges to use as backgrounds. we had a lot of fun once we got Chad to loosen up. Boys are so funny that way, they almost always feel awkward in front of the camera, (i feel that way too..but shh don't tell, i'll stick with being behind it for now!). We had a blast and i got to roll around in duck poo! I love my job! it's great not having to worry about anything but getting a great shot!

that night after a fun and yummy Thai dinner with my Grandparents, i went to Provo to stay the night at Hanna and Chris' because i was too tired to drive the 4 hours back to Rexburg. Upon arrival to Hanna's it was dark, about 8:30pm and we had to find somewhere to park my car overnight. We bundled up and set out in search of somewhere that my car wouldn't get towed. We found a street up the hill from her apartment that had a road with tons of cars parked along it, we looked both ways before parking in case there was a sign notifying us of the tow zone, all clear! or so we thought.

after a night of ice cream, catching up and watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail (i fell asleep, i guess i'm not classy enough for that one! haha!) and then some shut eye, Hanna and i set out to get my car so that i could hopefully make it back in time for Break the Fast with my ward. Well....we drive up the street, all the way to the top...my car is nowhere to be found. great...you have to be kidding me. both hanna and i were thinking. we look to the left..and BAM! there it is. the tow zone sign and their phone number.

Yes, they have my car.
No, there is nothing this guy can do about the price to get it back.
20 minutes, is how long till he comes back after un-booting some other unfortunate soul in Orem.

so i get there trying to maintain my composure, it was Sunday after all.....
and then he showed up, i'm getting more and more upset while struggling to maintain my cool, and not let Hanna feel too bad for me. and then he tells me its 175.00...cool. i tried to strike up a deal for advertizing for them...they may need a photographer?

"I'm already married..." he says...i look at him...
"I realize that...i wasn't referring to anything like that..."

what an...idiot. i was beyond mad and may have said...bull crap. sue me.

haha. chalk that one up to experience i guess, it was a great and extremely long/busy weekend in spite of it all and i was grateful to see friends and family for about a nano second. and i'm even more grateful to be back home in Rexburg.

just a minute from the photo lab,

or maybe a little more than just a minute, i have about two hours left on my shift for the day, then i will set my sails for utah in the morning. i'm pretty excited for my engagements and bridal shoot this weekend down in salt lake area! it will be a fun time, i love photographing in the snow and it's always fun to shoot somewhere new.

i've been really introspective the last few weeks. it's kind of a bad thing and often times a good thing, for me at least. i tend to get lost in my thoughts and feelings, and i've had a hard time getting out this time. i think i will though, my trick is to pretend that i am not feeling lost. the whole "fake it till you make it" theory. it kind of works. so i will just keep practicing, practice makes perfect after all!

so far this week i have done the following:

Monday: went to ceramics and had a Navajo taco party for Brother Briggs' birthday and threw some pots as well. Then I went tanning (sorry skin cancer phobia family members!) and photographed Brother Geddes again since the last time i overexposed his images (Oy!). Then later in the day, I went with our FHE family and another group to Bishop Reynolds' in Ashton. I may or may not have been falling asleep on both the way there and the way home. Car rides at night, i just can't resist some shut eye.
It was really fun to be at bishop's, they are a sweet couple and it was fun to get to know some more people in our RS. I also consumed at least three time's my body weight in pasta, rolls and cake. Bishop's wives always know how to cook so well!

Tuesday: Well on tuesday after working, being exhausted, developing film, meeting with Bishop for calling stuff i hit the gym and enjoyed some quality time with the elliptical machine and "The Help" it was a good one. i love a good book at the gym, it makes doing a lot of time consuming cardio go by so much faster.

Wednesday: I woke up earlier than i usually do so that i could fill out job applications for Badger Creek and AFY, both awesome summer programs that are for the Church's teenagers up here in Idaho. They are extremely competitive but i still feel really strongly that i should (at least) apply for them. I have nothing to lose right? haha. but i do have a lot to gain if i get the j-o-b-(s). i really pray that i will, and if i don't get them, then i guess it's for the best because i need to go somewhere else...right? Then i went to class, work, planned sunday's RS lesson, and worked out. Then i went Country dancing on campus for the second week in a row. i used to go all the time, but it's been a while. i really hate standing on the sides with all the other girls so i usually talk some of my guy friends into coming with me. i need to find some girls who like to country dance though...

Anyways, it was so fun! i love to dance, especially with people who are good! it makes me better.

Today (Thursday): so far i've slept, consumed my 6th Horkley's for the week and being dinking around on the computer and in the photo lab. I have no idea why i feel so lackluster today but i do, my eyes are dropping and i'm kinda restless at the same time. i just feel like homeless in a way since i'm almost half way through my last semester of school and not sure what to do with myself after.

i can't believe how fast time flies and how much it changes as it goes along.
here are a few old photos from two years ago. i've been cruisin' through my hard drive today.

Jackson Hole 2010

i miss my best friend.